My oldest friend, who I’ve known for 44 years, is losing his mother. It brings up all kinds of memories for me. I have memories of his mom, she was an awesome lady. and it also reminds me of the I lost my mom23 years ago as well. He mentioned something rather deep to me. that his mom is at peace with going, but it is those who are still alive to morn, that has to deal with it. And while it is true those of us still living has o process and accept the passing of a loved one, it can seem hard because until we are ready to accept things are they are and not how we hoped or planned, there will always be a distraction at that dicodomy. I am not saying it is easy or fast to deal with loss and grief, as we are each individual and all at our own place in dealing with these things. but for my experience the first and often hardest step is acceptance. accepting things for how they are, that they are gone, that we miss them, and that our relationship with them has changed.
I am blessed and cursed to have a certain amount of perspective, with my father having passed 32 years ago and my mom 23 years ago. So I have had time to come to terms and see what has and hasn’t worked for me in the grieving process.